I Tegan Graham am a super human. College is only mere fraction of an accomplishment for me. I scale the 828 m skyscraper in Dubai Great Wall of China in a matter of days. Fighter pilot by day, Dog whisperer by night. Everything you accomplish in a day I am already done by 6: oo am. I don’t need a watch I always know the time. I am a NASCAR driver. I am a human computer. I am the white Oprah Winfrey. Exhaustion does not faze me and sleep is not a requirement. I invented knowledge. I’m the board of directors for the iPod. I’ve slam-dunked more basketballs than Steve Nash. The Boston Marathon took me 25 minutes and that was with two bathroom breaks. I’ve summited Mt. Everest more times than I can count. Mother Nature is my friend. Obama is my neighbour. Britney Spears is my aunt. I can lift a 50lb dumbbell with my pinkie. I can hear a pin drop. I can count to 100 in 1,321 different languages and I can tie my shoes. My genie has granted me unlimited wishes. I’ve waddled with the penguins. I’ve swung with the monkies. I’ve talked with the Mynah birds. I have shot a hole in one on the 8 km hole in South Africa. For my next achievement I will discover the cure for cancer. I will bring about world peace with my infinite wisdom. There is no question whether or not you will admit me to your college. You will be paying me to come to your school. I Tegan Graham am a super human.
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